Thursday, June 21, 2007
For the 1st time since its purchase my car broke down on me. It was approximately 8:15am on Sunday when she (my car – yes, I decided it’s a ‘she’) decided to turn blue and lifeless on me.
This was followed by my brain going momentarily numb.
It was strange …there I was, awake at dawn and on the way to my parents place – two extremely rare events. When suddenly,I found myself stuck within a car that looked like she had decided to take up pipe smoking as a hobby!
A phone call to the God Brother-In Law and an hour and a half later, I found myself taking my first ride in a tour truck! As exciting as I made that sound, I was far as far gets from feeling any form of positive excitement. Instead I caught myself taking little peeps at my baby girl from the side window of the tour truck –“just to make sure she was ok.”
At the mechanics, I frantically described the sequence of events – from the horribly noisy acceleration to me not knowing that my car smokes pipes as a hobby!
My God Brother-In Law (whilst still in shock about the smoking bit) re- enacted all I said in mandarin to the very obliging mechanic.
The diagnosis was passed, which of course was gibberish to me. The bit I entirely understood was how much it was going to cost me. To that , I felt my heart jump out of my body via my mouth which was hung open that wide directly onto my (not so soft anymore) palms.
Options were none. To the price I agreed.
Being greeted by hot iddiappoms and mountains of cheese cake at the God Brother-In Law and God Sis’s place was the warmest fuzziest welcome I could have ever received. After consuming that can only be classified as “dangerous” amounts of cheese cake, afternoon nap time it was – yes I regret it now and yes again, I knew I was going to regret it then.
The best thing about sleep – it always manages to make the hours fly by faster. The next thing I knew I was receiving a phone call from the mechanic informing me that she’s ready to be picked up. Seeing her alive and kicking – now that’s what you call comforting ! For a moment …I almost forgot the dent in my wallet this was causing.
By this time,the consolations were beginning to take position and the sun was giving way to the beautiful crescent...
The strangest thing ever started to happen, it was as if only at that moment everything that had happend started sinking into me…deep into me.
The fact that my 6 month old car spent an entire day lifeless,the fact that i'm probably going to spend the rest of the month extremly broke, but the fact that sank in the deepest was that I had missed being home for father’s day.
The last time I was - I do not cannot recall.
During my drive home from the God Sister’s place, emotions that I ever knew existed within me were beginning to surface. Memories of old, locked away and buried began playing themselves over. By the time I was home, the flood gates were broken and there was nothing stopping them from flowing.
But there was something I knew that moment, clearer than I ever have before was that I may have missed spending Father’s Day with my dad , but what I did not realize till that moment was that my Heavenly Father, my Father God , my perfect Daddy was by my side the entire day.
There He was with me clamming me as I grew anxious while waiting for the tour truck , there He was by my side when I wondered how was I to meet the payments ? He was there in the physical support and affection that I received from my closet friends.
There He was…through every second of that day.
That night as I lay to sleep…I knew I was falling asleep on my Daddy’s lap.
The safest and most secure place ever known. My Daddy healed my fears and put to rest all my anxieties.
That night as I fell asleep, I asked my Daddy to bless all those who have lost their earthly father’s and those have never experienced the love of a father.
I asked my Daddy to remind them that He will always be their perfect Daddy and that they are never short of experiencing a father’s love.
That night as I fell asleep, I whispered “Happy Father’s day Daddy”.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Jesus asked St. Jerome in a vision why he had not given Him everything.
“Lord, I have devoted my life to your service. I have given you all my works, all my love, all my praise, everything.”
Jesus replied, “No, you haven’t given me your sins.”