Sunday, August 31, 2008

Prayer of St. Francis

its the weekend, i'm home..due to work totaly stressed and sleepless.

amidst all the noise, i found the below again..

make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is discord, unity.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is error, truth.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
And where there is sadness, joy.

Divine Master,

grant me that I may seek not so much to be consoled, but to console.

Not so much to be understood, as to understand.

Not so much to be loved, but as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive, it is in losing ourselves that we find ourselves.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

Thursday, August 21, 2008

an evening of wonder..

I met Joy for the first time this evening. At 14 months, he’s almost the cutest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. Something about him made my heart skip a beat.

Will the adoption work out..? I’m not sure…but if he’s meant to be mine, I’ll know and time will tell. Paul, see , he’s not been named after you. But thank you , yes , again :)

How different my life today is compared to a mere month ago. Never would I have thought that so much that was significant would become so insignificant ….. in such mere time.

But now, the storm has passed on and I’m setting sail once again.

This time, much stronger and wiser .

Truly, when He heals…He heals completely. My zest and passion for life…. which I thought was stolen away from me, He has renewed and is now a fire burning stronger and purer than ever before.

Is there a plan? Yes, there always is. But for now, its been surrendered to Him…and if it is His plan ….. In His time it will materialize.

I just cant wait… :)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

My faithful three

Poetry, painting & music… its amazing how these 3 elements of art has never failed to intrigue me, in an eye sparkling , mind stimulating, heart moving kind of way…

All of these elements over the course of time in their own way seem to have documented the various phrases of my life…

I was tidying up my study a couple of nights ago, when I stumbled upon one of my oldest sketch books.I’m an amateur among amateurs, but what intrigued me about my own little sketches (some merely scribbles) was how each and every one of them brought back clear distinct memories…memories of what I was experiencing and my state of mind as I sketched.

As I flipped through its yellowish pages, I was almost impressed by the ‘child me’ who so diligently documented so much…so much that today , they act as lessons for the ‘adult me’ to learn from.

The sentiments were similar as I starting flipping through my first poetry collection. Poetry was first among the three that I dabbled with…using it initially as a mode of journal writing…but in a code that only I truly understood.

Whether it was a poem about a childhood crush or childhood confusion…it was all there, in my little code book…providing me with the occasional giggle at my own childish naiveness , the occasional sigh at the heart broken teenage girl, and the lessons that came with all of that. Most of all, I experienced deep sense of gratitude of how blessed my life is today.

How amazingly things have turned out to be…far beyond anything my childish mind could have ever comprehended.

A moment later my eye caught sight of my violin that was in the corner of the room. Though music has always been an element close to heart , I never considered it to be a forte. I’ve found myself dabbling with it many times at different points of my life..but each time never truly long enough to know how far i could actually take it.

Thus music seems to have documented a slightly different perspective of my life. My rebelliousness at the age of 8 , whene I refuse to attend any of my violin classes…my fearlessness at 14 whene I sang “a whole new world” in front of an audience of 200…yes, and these days I shy away from even humming a tune out loud.

But of late….this element seems to be growing closer and closer to heart. Still shying terribly in comparison to the many great names we know…but somehow within the comforts of my dimly lit study something new seems to be brewing and this time…I dare say, its here to stay.

Maybe this is the element that will document my adult life , immortalizing moments that would otherwise simply pass by…never to be remembered.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Storms of life..

When I feel like I’ve had enough…
Off heartbreaks..
Off disappointments…
When I feel…I just cant..

Your voice tells me..
“Continue…this is for My glory”

When I feel there’s nothing left…
That alls been spent..
That alls been drained…
When I feel..Its all over

Your voice tells me
“Continue…your strength I’ll renew ”

Now, that I feel like breaking down…
Giving up…
Walking away…
And letting all go…

You’re holding me so close…
Wiping away my tears…

And you say to me..
“Together we’ll soar above the storm”